


And I You

by ProfessorERudite



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28058985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorERudite/pseuds/ProfessorERudite
Summary: Dean mourns the loss of Cas and has Jack help him find a solution. Season 15 Fix-it ficlet.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 41





	And I You

Cas was gone. 

Once they returned to the bunker, Sam and Jack found Dean. Head in his hands and his cellphone with several missed calls just out of reach, Dean sat motionless, in the same position he had been in since the night before.

Sam slowly approached him. It didn’t take a genius to realize that Cas let the Empty take him. 

Even though Dean played his emotions close to his chest, Sam knew from the last time when Cas died how depressed Dean had been and how Dean had lashed out at everyone around him. Sam knew that this was the reaction of a man who had lost his best friend.

“Dean?” Sam ventured to ask.

Slowly, Dean’s head rose to make eye contact with his brother. His red, puffy eyes revealed the emotions he normally would fight to hide. There was no hiding now. He couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“We’ll get him back,” said Sam.

Dean could barely respond. “The Empty–”

“We’ll get him back,” Sam repeated. “We’ll find a way.”

“He sacrificed himself–to save me. The bastard... He said–"

Tears welled in Jack’s eyes as he listened to Dean’s admission, but interrupted before Dean could say anything further. “It’s my fault. He did this–He made that deal so it would take him instead of me. He saved both of us. It’s my fault he’s gone.”

Sam shook his head. “No, it’s not your fault, Jack. Cas was like that. He would never want us to be in pain– He knew what he was doing when he made that deal. I’m sure he thought he could find another way out of that agreement”

Unable to stop his tears, Jack vacantly asked the room, “What are we going to do?”

The question hung heavily in the air. There was no immediate answer. The three remaining Winchesters remained there for longer than they could count, immobile, feeling the weight of the universe on their shoulders. 

God would return and he would destroy them and Dean couldn’t care less. “Nothing,” Dean said. “We’re not going to do a damn thing.”

* * *

In his dreams, Dean continued to replay the moment Cas confessed his love for him over and over. 

_“You’ve changed me. I love you. Goodbye, Dean.”_

Some nights Cas confessed his truth and just as the Empty opened up a portal, Dean grabbed Cas and tackled him out of the way so only Death would be taken. 

The Empty disappeared with Death and the two of them lay on the hard floor momentarily before Dean tells him: “I couldn’t let you do that. I love you too” before they kiss.

But most of the time, Cas kept dying with Dean impotent, unable to stop it. 

Cas was dying over and over. 

_“None of this is real! God was playing us this whole time,” Dean yelled.  
_

_“We are. We are real, Dean,” Cas insisted as his heart was breaking._

* * *

Once Jack became the new god, all of the people were restored to their old lives, completely unaware that anything untoward had happened. 

Just as he turned to walk away, Dean pleaded, “Wait.”

Jack turned back around. “I know. I will try to get Cas back. I know Chuck was able to manipulate the Empty but all of these powers are new to me. Give me some time.”

Dean took a few steps forward. “I will do whatever it takes." On the inside, his heart screamed: _I want to be worthy of him._

Jack nodded to Sam. “Go find Eileen. I’m sure she has plenty of questions.”

Before Sam had a chance to say anything, Jack and Dean disappeared into the Emtpy.

Like Cas had raised Dean from Purgatory, Dean returned the favor, rescuing Cas from the Empty. But the only way to ensure the primordial being wouldn't want Cas ever again: he had to relinquish his grace. 

It was a sacrifice Dean didn't want to have to make. "You shouldn't have to," he said. "Cas–"

Cas insisted, "It will be OK, Dean."

It was more than OK. 

Dean grabbed Cas tightly and Cas grabbed him just as tightly in return and then… 

They were in a field, just outside a familiar-looking barn. It was dark, but not as dark as the nothingness of the Empty. Stars shone brighter here in the country than near the bright lights of the city. The pair were still holding onto each other in a death-grip, fearing that if they let go, one of them would disappear forever.

Neither of them spoke for a long time. 

Dean was the first to loosen his grip, pulling back just enough to stare into Cas's blue eyes. He then slipped his hands to Cas's cheeks. His darted to Cas's lips and then he leaned in to give him a kiss, a kiss filled with his heart and soul.

It only took a moment for the shock to wear off before Cas was kissing Dean back in return. It was a slow, passionate kiss of one soul meeting another. 

The stars seemed to dance in accompaniment. 

"Please don't ever leave me," Dean whispered.

"I won't," Cas huskily replied.

He didn't say it then, but his _I love you_ was clear.

"Let's go home," Dean said, taking Cas's hand. He didn't let go, even as they hailed a taxi. 

He didn't let go, even when they returned to the bunker and Sam asked them questions. He always wanted to be near Cas and to touch him, to reassure himself that it wasn't a dream.

Sam never asked Dean what happened, even though he clearly wanted to. Eileen was good about helping Sam keep his questions to himself. 

Cas asked the first questions. "Now that I'm no longer an angel, I will need more direction on what that entails, including how to wield other weapons."

Sam cleared his throat. "Right, well, I'm sure we can handle that in time now that Jack's got everything under control."

Eileen added, "There are other things too, you know. The holidays are coming up. And this place needs decorations. You can help me pick some out!"

"I'd like that," Cas replied with a smile.

Sam and Eileen both hugged Cas in turn, letting them know how happy they were that he was back. 

This year, they would invite all of their friends to celebrate together. There was so much to celebrate.

After dinner and watching some flicks on TV, Sam and Eileen retired for the evening. Then Dean and Cas were alone again. This was when things got a little awkward. 

“I don’t really know how this sort of thing works,” Dean admitted. "Peace. Not having the end of the world facing us, and uh…" He took another swig of beer, hoping to work up a little liquid courage. "...And the y'know...other things."

Furrowing his brow, Cas replied, “I don’t understand.” 

“I-uh-I’ve never been in a relationship...with uh…” He cleared his throat. “If you want to of course. I want to be with you, but I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”

Cas’s confused expression shifted into a genuine smile. “We’ll just have to make it up as we go along.” He drew closer, wrapping his arms around Dean.

Dean cracked a smile. Cas always knew just what to say. He pressed his forehead against Cas’s, his entire expression beaming. “I love you.”

“And I, you, Dean,” Cas replied before taking the initiative to kiss him.


End file.
